he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
