this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
