i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
