he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
