I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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