she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
