Sry I called you an 8
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
