girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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