Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
