i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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