I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
