we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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