She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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