...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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