How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
