THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
