I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
