I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
