Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
