I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
