Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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