in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
