farters have to be the big spoon...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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