my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
