apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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