..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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