I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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