This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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