I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
