Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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