My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
