you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
