this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
