I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
