My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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