it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
