Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So squirting runs in the family.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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