i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
