I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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