Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
