But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
