weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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