so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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