Fuck appropriateness.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
