I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
