You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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