So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There r osticjed everywhere
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
