And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
