Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
