Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
...so i touched it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
