I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
